today i feel tired and lost, like a butterfly wandering on a rainy, early winter morning. everything is unsurprisingly noisy, except for the slow drizzle of thought continuously striking the void of my soul. there is no drain, and the droplets have gathered to one corner of me. i feel the heaviness of my heart more than anything else.

i waited for you all afternoon long, just outside the chapel, under the trees where the concrete benches sit. it was strangely windy, and everything seemed to move so fast, except for me – stuck in within the moment.

time was in a hurry… it wasn’t long before it turned dark. you never came, and all the while i never smiled.

all i had then was a pen and paper in my hand. and i thought of leaving you a note saying that tomorrow i’ll wait again… but i know i need not remind you. ive waited everyday, you know that tomorrow i’ll be there.

so i wrote you this letter instead.

when once asked on why i write, i used to say “i write to ease the pain”… i still do and this time is no different at all.

you haven’t been speaking to me for so long now. I’ve grown familiar with your silence; you always try to make it up by telling me you’ll catch up with things anytime soon… it makes me wonder who really needs to keep up with how we’re doing… you say that it’ you, but i think it really is me who has some catching up to do.

most of the time, love is magic and make believe. ive come up with a way of compromising what i think you’re saying with what i want to hear… i hope im not mistaken if i think we’d never end up like this. i will never forget the things you never said.

tomorrow ill be back, to where i always wait for you. don’t worry,

you didn’t miss anything today… i just missed you.

rR