i’m caffeine free which means i really should find a good reason  to rationalize the fact that i’m  still up after midnight when i’m  better off fast-forwarding my life  to the day of my recovery in sweet  slumber.

i should be in front of the boob  tube right now but my banal spirit  tells me that i have too low of a  tolerance for such devices, which  at the same time keeps me away  from the computer. so i’m settling  with a pen and a clean piece of  paper (which unfortunately will  never be as clean again) which  means that i’m going to find some stray pen marks on my bed sheet  here and there now and then.

funny that i’m actually holding a  pen write now (pun intended); i’ve  been out of school but i’ve never  been to me.

•••

late night/early morning tv should  seriously consider Blue’s Clues  and Dora the Explorer marathons  instead of adulterated late night  tv shows. that should keep  problematic kids busy while they’re  eating their hearts away (a clue!  a clue!). that should keep me  entertained too while i’m brooding  over my present issues. i’m not a  kid anymore but i know cartoons  are the only things real in this  world.

i might try writing to Nick or  Cartoon Network one of these days  to air them when insomniacs need  them the most… if that doesn’t  work, i’m going to try praying to  MTV.

i’m not so sure why i’m hooked to  those two shows but i’m sure i’m having some quality time while i’m  pretending to not know a lot of  things while the people inside the tv set is talking to me. i love  them. Blue is the best dog in the  world and as long as he stays away  from some infamous parts of the  Philippines, nobody’s eating blue hotdogs for lunch.

as for Dora and her sexy accent,  she rocks and i love her for it.

•••

now i’m wond’ring why i cant sleep  when i just had some medicine  thats supposed to lull me back to  where i really belong—la la land.  perhaps sleep just got lost along  the way, and took some time to lay  down and relax at the expense of  my dreaming. and if sleep’s not  coming to me any sooner, then i’m  the one going to her.

i guess some warm milk might  really help so i’m going to get  some after i’m done with my writing  and some heart-breaking-tear-provoking-emotional-but-not-emo  background music. and if i really  get lucky, i might find some chocolatey goodies stuck in a cold  treasure chest we all call the  fridge.

chocolates + warm milk =  sweet  sleep.. Delicioso!

after midnight thought for the  taking: all forms of pain kinda taste like the same. (another clue!)

ill wake up when ill see you.  sweetdreams to me.

back and loving it.